Since becoming a stay at home mom, I have becoming involved with a new school, started a blog, started an Arbonne business, planned out a non-fiction book, and redefined my fiction book I’ve written. It’s a bit of chaos right now, and I’m only just a week into SAHMotherhood. But through all of my new endeavors that I’ve taken on, I’ve learned the most important question you can ask yourself. It defines you, gives you motivation, helps lay out your priorities, and helps to shape your day.
The question is “What is my why?”
What is my why?
This question can literally make or break your success at anything you choose to do.
Why? What’s my motivation?
What’s the driving force behind this decision?
Why, if I have a world of possibilities open to me, do I choose this?
Before my “Why”
For a long time, I was on autopilot. The driving force behind most of my decisions was, “I’m expected to get a degree, get a good job, serve my community, and start a family.”
I never bothered to stop and ask myself “what is my why?” And if I had, the answer would have been: “Because I’m supposed to.”
Discovering My Why
But since getting tossed out of my first teaching job after 4 years, I have started to be more and more discerning about what I allow into my life.
I went to grad school, moved to New Mexico, dumped my ex on his butt, found my soul mate, stopped working so many hours and started to take better care of myself.
So right now, I can tell you that my children are my “why”. As you can see, I have been setting lofty goals of being a bestselling Kindle author, making bank on my blog, and promote the shit out of my non-toxic, vegan, wonder-products at Arbonne. I’ve quit my teaching job because it confined me. I spent my day with other people’s children and missing my own. On top of that, I had already maxed out my salary.
I don’t want that life for me or for my sons. Living inside a box does not feel comfortable to me. I want to express myself on my own terms and to work hard for my boys. Ultimately, we would love to travel every summer. I want to be financially free and live without debt or owing anyone anything. Our home should be somewhere comfortable and safe. I want to have the means to homeschool my boys for a few years before they go to school.
Working a job that doesn’t allow me to see my boys during the day does not get me closer to my dreams. But staying at home with them and hustling my ass off might make this dream a reality.
Which is why… it already is a reality.
Rule #1 for affirmations and goals? ALWAYS act as if they have already happened!
I live for my “why” every day!
What is Your Why?
Stop and think for a moment.
What brings the most love, passion, and meaning to your life?
What do you do that brings you joy?
Where do you go to find flow?
Where do you feel the happiest and simultaneously the most deliciously vulnerable? Your why isn’t something shallow. It has depth and meaning. It’s where you go on your darkest days to lift you up.
At various points in my life, my why has been:
- my husband
- my children
It is something that touches the deepest part of you.
The answer to “what is my why?” is the deepest intrinsic motivation you can ever find. It lights your spirit ablaze and can power you through. An addition, it can be the impetus for change in your life.
Now that you have found your “why”, what kinds of changes do you want to make for yourself?