As I get older, the importance of finding peace of mind grows. I dislike negative emotions and the effect they have on my life. Yet, life becomes increasingly stressful. Job changes, moves, divorces, marriages, kids, buying homes, presidential elections, and pandemics can all impact our peace of mind.
Peace of mind does exist, even in the midst of all that chaos.
Yes–peace of mind is something that can exist simultaneously with chaos or feeling a little lost. It’s NOT just something you experience when life is perfect and you have no problems or troubles. Finding peace of mind comes from a variety of things that work harmoniously in our lives, so let’s look at what to AVOID and what to EMBRACE.
3 Things That May Be Poisoning Your Peace of Mind
1. Worrying and Obsessive Thinking
Worrying is a type of thinking about the future which leaves you feeling apprehensive, anxious, and potentially even panicked.
Many of us tend to replay potential unwanted outcomes in our minds over and over. It’s a completely normal and human reaction, and it served us well evolutionarily when human beings were trying to avoid being a cheetah’s dinner because it helped us predict how to avoid it.
Today, there’s plenty of worry about the pandemic, about American politics, and about the California wildfires. Worrying about the future does nothing but take joy away from the present moment. It can even cause physical health issues.
But these are things that most of us have little control over.
2. Anger, Outbursts, and Holding Grudges
Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to fall ill. Anger is an outward expression of lack of peace. It’s often driven by fear, inadequacy, worry, anxiety, or stress.
Many people have a problem with anger and feeling out of control. Anger is often one way people can hold onto control. But it also triggers the body’s fight or flight response, which constantly feeds our bodies with stress chemicals and hormones.
Anger can cause a lot of health issues in the long run, so it’s not only detrimental to our inner peace, but also our physical health.
Stress comes for so many different sources in our lives.
It might come from taking too much on your plate. Do you take on too many projects and forget to take care of yourself? Are all you extra hours spent at work? Do you have difficulties delegating?
It may come from a difficult situation at work, or an unresolved conflict at home. Do you have difficulty setting clear boundaries with others? Do you have difficulty telling people no? Do you constantly want to “keep the peace” around you?
Trying to people please, do too much, and avoid conflict with others ends up just creating conflict in our minds. Stress is one of the main things that might be negatively impacting your peace of mind.
Finding Your Peace of Mind in 6 Steps
This is a promising path for finding peace of mind in your life:
1. Clear away the clutter
When your priority is finding peace of mind, you need to let everything else take a backseat.
What can you clear from your mind, schedule, home, and life so that you can focus on what’s most important?
This might mean taking a break from social media, choosing your battles, or literally cleaning your home and minimizing the stuff taking up physical and mental space.
2. Change your mindset before anything else.
Your mindset is everything because it dictates how you live your life.
There are a great many ways to change your mindset to benefit your peace of mind. Affirmations, for one, are another great way to change your mindset and focus on positive, healthy goals. Affirmations are positive statements that help you define your goals, feel empowered, and change your mindset.
Learn more about Affirmations and read: What are Affirmations and How do they work?
3. Let it go.
Let go of what you can’t control and focus on what you can control. Here is a list of things you can control:
- your mindset
- what you say and the way you treat others
- your health and wellness
- your reaction to people
- your interpretation of situations
- how judgmental you are
- your vices
- your vote
- what you do in your free time
Here’s a list of things you can’t control:
- what others say
- the way others treat you
- how other people interpret what you say
- how other people judge you
- other people’s vices
- how other people react or respond
- how your country or state reacts to the pandemic
- your children’s behavior
4. Give up guilt.
Guilt is just a built in reaction from societal conditions and probably generations of people telling each other “this is the way things are supposed to be”. It’s not relevant to your life. So give up the guilt.
Many of us feel guilty when we indulge or enjoy something too much. We’ve been conditioned to believe that life is supposed to be hard work, and when we stop to enjoy it, that we should feel guilty.
Make sure you read: Embracing Life’s Simple Joys
5. Celebrate when things go right!
What sorts of things have you had success on lately? What is there in your life that you can celebrate? Maybe it’s something small, but they say that great things are built with small steps.
READ MORE: 13 Tips for Increasing Your Self Confidence
6. Be aware of negative feelings and find objective solutions
Whenever you create a scenario in your mind that is anxiety-inducing, mentally take a step back. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Does this scenario make me feel angry? Resentful? Worried? Anxious? Helpless? (Etc.)
- What is it about this situation that makes me so ________ (fill in feeling)?
- How can my actions impact the outcome of this scenario? Can my actions in this situation change my feelings?
- How can you treat people with kindness and compassion? How can you validate your own feelings as well as others?
Go back to the list of things you can or can’t control. What are YOU able to control to make the situation better?
Whenever you reach a decision about what to do, make sure you’ve released worry, stress, and anger. It is possible to approach and handle conflicts and difficult situations in a manner that will help you keep your peace of mind.
Finding your peace of mind is a combination of knowing what negative reactions to let go of, and which realistic and positive responses to embrace. It is absolutely possible to find peace of mind regardless of whether you are having your best year ever, or you’re smack in the middle of 2020.
Wishing you peace.
Make sure to read:
16 Best Spiritual Books for Spiritual Enlightenment
The Best 18 Mala Beads for Meditation
The Best Mala Beads for Fertility and Feminine Power
How to Overcome Jealousy and STOP Keeping Up with the Joneses
What sorts of things can you do today to enhance your own inner peace? Let me know in the comments below!
Finding Peace of Mind in 6 Steps (And 3 Things to Avoid)
*Updated August 24, 2020