Ladies, we need to stop judging each other!
Women, we need to stop judging other women.
With ever more hatred coursing through the world today, it seems that women get the brunt of it, and a lot of times, it comes from other women.
We see headlines of celebrities and everyday women alike being verbally attacked for breastfeeding in public, for not breastfeeding, for choosing to not have children, for choosing to put our career on hold to have kids, for not covering up enough, for covering up too much… it doesn’t seem to matter what the issue actually is, people will criticize you for it.
THIS. NONSENSE. MUST. STOP.
Women are more than their choices.
In my 20s, I was hell-bent on becoming a successful and well-known choral director in my community. I slaved at work for hours past my duty day, demanding excellence, building a network and collaborating, continuing my education and professionally developing my career.
Although I never said anything, the women around me who chose to leave their careers for their kids always bothered me. I felt they were giving up their power! How could they do that?! I never saw myself letting go of my work to raise my kids. I could TOTALLY do it all!
Now that I am in my 30s, I understand that my power as a woman or a person has little to nothing to do with my zeal toward my career, and I am (GASP!) working toward becoming the thing I once dreaded: a stay at home mom!
Do I still think I can do it all? Hell yeah! If I wanted to, I totally could.
The point is that I am choosing not to. I want to focus on what I find most important. I’m finding my priorities and aligning my life to them.
It’s HEALTHY to make choices and focus on what we need to, for ourselves.
Is it okay that people have different priorities and choose to focus on different things in their lives?
Let’s grow up, people! We need to stop being so rude to people who make different choices in life than we do. (I have kindergarteners who are learning this… why do some adults seem to not have this figured out?)
So if it is not our choices that should define us, what does?
Folks, character defines us. And here’s the kicker:
I’m not talking about what defines OTHER PEOPLE.
I’m talking about what defines YOU.
Because quite frankly, you can try as hard as you might to be the judge of someone else’s character, but until you have ALL the information, keep your damn mouth shut.
For example, a woman might appear to be neglecting her newborn. What we don’t see is that this woman is suffering from Post-partum Depression and has just started medication to get better.
A woman might appear to be mean to her children in public, but what we don’t see is that she wants to teach them to be thick skinned because she’s being beaten by her husband nightly. She feels hopeless and never wants her children to feel that.
So as we get into the new calendar year and let go of our generous holiday spirits, before you turn your judgment on someone because you think they are making the wrong choice, or have bad character, turn the judgment on yourself.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you.”
I’m not very religious, but that resonates highly with me. (That was Luke 6:37-38, by the way.)
Here’s my point
Part of living a balanced life is focusing on ourselves and letting go of what others are doing.
Try instead to lend a helping hand or lift someone else up.
One day, the favor might be returned to you in a moment of need.