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“What Is Wrong with Me?” — 7 Ways to Feel Better

Do you ever think “What is wrong with me?” That what’s going on in your life isn’t what it should be, and that what other people have or what they can do is better than what you can?

You may not want to admit it, but this feeling is totally normal. In fact, most people feel anxiety that there’s something wrong at some point in their lives! The thing about those feelings is that the answer may not actually be as bad as we think.

This blog post will help provide some answers for those of us who just need a little nudge and a bit of clarity (and no one has to know how much effort we put into finding out).

Woman thinking "I don't know what is wrong with me."

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*Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and do not offer this as medical advice. This is my own personal experience and I encourage everyone to seek advice from their doctor before making decisions about their health. To view our full disclaimer policy, click here.

What is Wrong with Me?

There are happy days. There are sad days. And there are days when you feel down and, for the love of the world, can’t place your finger on the actual reason behind your mood.

You keep wondering what’s wrong with you or why you’re not good enough, but your brain can’t give you a concrete answer. You might feel guilty or feel overwhelmed. You might also find yourself making mistakes more than usual, or you might have brain fog.

Your Mental Health

When you’re stuck in a difficult situation and you start thinking something is inherently wrong with you, it’s likely a matter of a mental health issue like anxiety that needs to be resolved. This could be any variety of things (discussed below).

We often fail to give credit to how much our own thoughts impact our feelings and emotions. Our bodies are also constantly sending us signals that may be impacting this feeling of something wrong. Different things externally in our lives can also impact how we feel.

In other words, you might be receiving mixed messages that are jumbling your thoughts and emotions, giving you anxiety and making you feel like something is wrong.

7 Ways to Figure Out What’s Wrong With You

1) Seek out a Mental Health Professional

Normal feelings are what bring us together, what connect us with other people. But when you’re not feeling normal, it’s time to find out what is wrong and fix it so that you can enjoy the rest of your life again.

If this sounds like something that might be happening to you right now then the answer may just lie with mental health professionals.

There are so many options you can choose from when it comes to what type of other mental health professionals might be best for your needs; but if you’re looking for someone who’ll really listen, is there to help and support you, then seek out a mental health professional like the ones at BetterHelp.com. These professionals will take your anxiety seriously.

2) Rule Out Mental Illness

Woman in therapy, know that there are many treatment options for a person who wants to know what's wrong with them

While you’re getting therapy, they’re going to help you determine if you have any mental health issues.

Now, before you start to worry that something is wrong, this is completely okay! Remember, when you feel like something is wrong, the idea is to find the source and help treat it.

Here are some mental illnesses that you may discover at the source of your feeling.

  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • PTSD or C-PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder, or complex post traumatic stress disorder)
  • Personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Bipolar Disorder

A mental health disorder is not a terrible diagnosis. You should realize the good news: nearly everyone who is diagnosed with something like this is on the right track! You can get started on a treatment regimen and start moving forward.

3) Try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

CBT is one of your treatment options that can be done by a licensed counselor rather than a psychiatrist. It’s a process by which a therapist will help you find what’s wrong by asking a lot of questions and helping figure out what can be done to help.

The idea is that your thoughts impact how you feel, so if the mind has some sort of destructive thought process (like “I’m not good enough”), it will lead to negative feelings like depression or anxiety. CBT helps change those thoughts and teach the brain how to do things the right way for you.

This can lead to a dramatic change in your feelings and emotions, because now your mind is thinking differently about what you’re going through.

Your counselor might start by asking what is wrong. If you don’t know, that’s okay. Try to describe your feelings, even if it’s a struggle. Their questions will help get you on the right track.

4) Do some research of your own

In the meantime, do some research on your own. Knowledge is power, and that applies to all kinds of knowledge. If you always find a puddle of water on your kitchen floor, what do you do? Look for the source. It may be a leaking pipe, a faulty faucet, or something unrelated to plumbing at the end of the day.

The same thing applies to your mental health. Start by searching the mental health terms above, like anxiety depression, and see what kinds of symptoms apply to how you’re feeling. You can find some extremely helpful sites that may trigger something in you and you’ll immediately know: “That’s what’s wrong with me!”

Beware though, doing research about your health on Google can lead you down rabbit holes of more severe anxiety. Be your own best friend and keep yourself grounded. Remember that you’re looking for answers, not worst case scenarios.

Start at the National Alliance on Mental Illness for some great resources.

5) Do some journaling

Woman journaling in bed

Writing is an excellent way to try to discover what’s wrong! There are many techniques to get your ideas flowing. You can try free writing, where you just write whatever comes to mind and let your thoughts come out.

You can also try answering journaling questions. These questions are designed to help you pinpoint a helpful answer when you’re having a hard time discovering it on your own. Here are 120 questions to ask yourself that might help point you in the right direction.

Here are a few more:

Where do I feel my sense that something is wrong? In my head? In my gut?

What emotions or scenarios trigger my thoughts that something is wrong?

What kinds of stress have happened in my life recently?

Do I have a growth mindset (people can learn new things) or a fixed mindset (these are my strengths and weaknesses, and I can’t change that)?

6) Practice Meditation or Relaxation Techniques

Your physical body is connected intrinsically with your mental health. When you spend time in your daily life dedicated to overcoming your feelings of anxiety and depression, your stress will start to affect you less.

Meditation is when you focus your attention on one thing, usually on your breath. Find a comfortable place to sit. It may help to light a birthday candle, as they burn for about 8 minutes. Watch the candle (don’t close your eyes) and focus your attention entirely on your breathing in and breathing out. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back.

Not everyone finds meditation easy, so you can also try guided meditations, like this one.

Progressive muscle relaxation is when you tense a group of muscles at the same time for about 10 seconds at a time and then relax them simultaneously. You move through different muscle groups in your body until you’ve tensed and relaxed all your muscles.

This is another wonderful technique for being aware of your body and helping channel your anxiety out of your body.

7) Work on your self-esteem

Anxiety can take a toll on our confidence. Start spending time working on your self-esteem. You don’t even need to do a lot to take advantage of this. Maybe take some time to learn new skills. Get outside and do something that you love.

Be active. When we spend too much time wondering what’s the matter, or spend too much time inside our head, we often feel worse. Take life by the horns. Practice mental strength and get out there and live life.

Here are some more ways to increase your self-worth and help to curb your anxiety.

RELATED POST: 7 Ways to Use Self-Talk for a Healthy, Positive Body Image

6 More Ways to Cope While You Are Figuring Out What’s Wrong

Exercising can help you discover what's wrong when you don't know what is wrong with you.

1) Exercise 

Exercising is also another way to take your mind off things, and it’s an excellent way to spend your self care time. When you find yourself constantly asking, “what is wrong with me,” take a walk, jog, dance, hit the gym, do yoga. The level of effort invested in the exercise is inconsequential. The effect is what matters. 

If you’re taking a walk or jogging, your environment’s sure to offer a positive perspective to correct your mood. You’ll come across neighbors or friends with whom you’ll have to exchange pleasantries. You might also see a cute pet that springs up a lot of admiration from your heart and lift your spirits.

Or you can be taken by the beauty of the sky, the flora, and other landmarks of nature. Exercises like yoga or going to the gym takes a lot of effort and dedication, but they take your mind off things just as well.

2). Do Something You’re Good At

Woman painting

You don’t have to be a control freak or extremely self-conscious to be upset by your inability to tell what’s wrong with you. Everyone wants to be productive. Everyone wants to have control over their lives. Not being able to tell what’s bothering you suggests a lack of control. We don’t need to spell out just how frustrating that can be. 

Therefore, reestablishing control can improve your mood if you don’t know what is wrong with you. You can re-establish control by doing things you’re proficient in. It can be hobbies like painting, singing, swimming, writing, or just plain professional work.

Generally, the goal is to go for anything that allows you to demonstrate a level of mastery. Since you can’t tell what’s wrong with you and feel out of control, doing things you’re passionate and skillful at will help get you on your feet.

RELATED: 10 Stress Management Techniques for Everyday Use

3) Socialize

Socializing and connecting with friends is a great way to feel better when you think "I don't know what is wrong with me"

John Donne’s famous line, “no man is an island”, continues to ring true regardless of how rampant inclinations towards individualization are in the modern world.

Don’t stay idle or cooped up on your couch all day. Get up. Go out. Hang out with friends; emotional support is an excellent way of improving your mood. You don’t even need to talk about the bad things. When you guys hit a sweet spot in your conversation, everything will feel better, and you’d forget about your inexplicable situation.

Most people have at least one person they love and feel completely safe with. This might also be a good time to confide in them. Tell them you’ve been wondering if something is wrong with you. Let that person know you’ve been feeling stress, anxiety, and might even be depressed. A true friend will help support you through this time.

RELATED POST: 25 Signs of a Wild Woman (Are You a Wild Woman?)

4). Eat Healthy Meals

Eat healthy meals

Food and psychology look like they’re two worlds apart, but they’re closer and more related than you think. Research has shown that a healthy diet improves your mental health. Eating good food helps to:

  • Develop your brain.
  • Boost brain protein which, in turn, facilitates a quicker connection between the brain cells.
  • Provide healthy bacteria in the intestinal area.

Creating a connection between healthy bacteria in the intestines and the brain is akin to using a hammer on a nut instead of a screwdriver, right? But if you’ve ever had an abdominal ache, you’d know how difficult it is to juggle between its discomfort and genuine happiness. More succinctly put, a healthy diet makes your body healthy, and that, in turn, affects your mood.

The nutritional and psychological value aside, the delicious taste of a sumptuous meal can go further than enlivening your taste buds, and this too sends and receives signals from the brain.

RELATED POST: Are Good Health and Success Connected? (Yes, They Are!)

5). Try New Things

Step out of your comfort zone with something like skydiving to discover "what is wrong with me?"

Stepping out of your lines implies a deviation from your daily routine. You change things up. Routines are good and suggest someone who is organized and in control. However, routines are of little to no good when you have no idea what is responsible for your mood. It would be best if you did something totally or fairly new to keep you from thinking “what is wrong with me”; more often, most of them are things that aren’t already part of your routine. 

It’s okay to talk sky diving, surfing, bungee jumping, and so on when you think of stepping out of your lines. They’re exciting and jarring enough to make you forget all your worries on earth, but they aren’t the only things you can do.

Little things such as taking a walk, reading a book, making new friends, eating from a different restaurant, speaking with your neighbors, and singing aloud, are also deviations from routine. It all just depends on the things you’re familiar with.

When you step out of your lines, you’d be too busy trying to get used to new activities and experiences. It becomes easier for your worries to fade away.

RELATED: We Become What We Think About

6) Listen to Music

Listening to music is a great way to get in touch with your inner self when you don't know what's wrong with you

To many, the beauty of music lies in its melodic quality. To others, the versatility of its form. However, if you’re in a bit of an emotional fix and you keep saying, “I don’t know what is wrong with me”, you should consider music as a gateway – a window of escape. The power and effect of music are undeniable. It’s got therapeutic qualities. That’s why you can plow through tedious labor with music playing in the background or why it’s an accompaniment when you’re having trouble sleeping.

If you ask yourself questions like “what is wrong with me,” and your answer is “I can’t tell what’s wrong with me”, your first step should be to preserve your mental health. The best way to do that is to take your mind off things.

Music doesn’t just help you take your mind off things; it soothes and erases any dour feelings. There are various genres of music for different moods. If finding soothing music is trying for you, hop on any musical platforms for a list of specialized playlists with songs suitable to your mood.

Conclusion

It’s the human condition to struggle from time to time. But it’s not the human condition to fall prey to these problems. It’s up to you to decide your course of treatment and the process you will take to

There are many reasons, ranging from biological, societal, institutional, to psychological, that would make you ask, “What is wrong with me”. It doesn’t mean that you have a mental illness or that something else more serious is going on. Maybe you just need some time to realize that you’ve been feeling this way because of stress at work.

Anxiety about your life doesn’t have to overwhelm you. It is possible to know what’s wrong and to find something helpful that will work for you, whether that’s therapy or just simple self care. Eventually, you’ll find a solution that makes sense for you.

Just follow these steps, and you don’t have to think “What is wrong with me” any longer.

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