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4 Easy Steps to Manifest a Healthy Romantic Relationship

Whether you’re tired of toxic relationships or you’re still just waiting for the right person, you might want to learn how to manifest a healthy relationship in your life.

I’m here to tell you that it is possible and I’ve done it!

Your ideal relationship is out there waiting for you, and using the law of attraction to get it is actually quite simple! It requires you to believe that you are worthy of love and tap into your subconscious mind while letting go of any limiting beliefs. You can even use the Law of Attraction to get a specific person!

But before we get too in depth, let’s define what manifestation is (and isn’t) and then you can follow this step-by-step, law of attraction guide to help you receive a healthy romantic relationship into your life!

Woman and man kissing on a beach

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What does “manifest” mean?

Manifestation is a powerful tool in sculpting your ideal life, including your love life!

To manifest something means that you are bringing good things out of your mind and into existence. It originated as a term in the spiritual community, but has since become more mainstream.

When you manifest something, you can see exactly what you want. The thing you want must be in alignment with your highest self! And you also take inspired action to get this thing you desire.

Essentially, the most important things are:

  1. Seeing what you want
  2. Being what you want
  3. Achieving what you want

We’ll talk more about each of these below!

What is the Law of Attraction?

The law of attraction is the belief that “like attracts like.” It’s that simple! The Law of Attraction is like a magic trick that pulls anything that is an energetic match to you!

What are Limiting Beliefs?

A limiting belief is any belief that blocks your desired outcome. It is a false assumption about oneself or the world that can stop you from aligning with that vibrational frequency of all the good things you want. 

Limiting beliefs can include:

  1. expectations or feeling like you’re owed something
  2. negative thoughts
  3. worry and anxiety
  4. self-sabotaging behaviors and more.

But I’ll show you how to gently release these so you don’t end up in another wrong relationship or with someone waving tons of red flags!

RELATED: What Does Love Feel Like? 25 Signs You’re In Love!

The Power of Manifestation and True Love (A True Story)

I want to take a moment to share my story about manifesting the perfect partner for me.

In 2013, I was already married to someone else, my college sweetheart, but it wasn’t a great relationship. There were a lot of red flags.

In fact, I was deeply unhappy. All the markers of a toxic relationship were there: avoidance, drama, negative energy, blame, judgment, pretense, gaslighting, keeping score, and walking on eggshells, to name a few.

Couple sitting on the couch arguing

(You may recognize those in past relationships you’ve had as well.)

I wish I could have blamed everything on him, but the fact is that I wasn’t raised with the most effective communication regarding emotions either, and I didn’t always recognize when things weren’t right. I thought the way he treated me was normal. And I was angry about it–I employed guilt-tripping and emotionally manipulated him.

But I longed for a healthy relationship – I wanted the type of relationship full of trust and deep connections! I wanted to celebrate successes, comfort failures, share responsibilities, and be in mutual respect with a person for life. I was tired of the fighting and the drama! I was tired of the push and pull, the blaming, and the name-calling.

Desiring a Change

Two years into that marriage, I decided to make a change.

I was going to stop keeping score. I would stop blaming him. I was going to be as open and honest as I could. I was going to stop avoiding confrontation for fear of an explosive fight or condescending remarks. Forgetting what we had endured in the past, I was going to be happy for myself and act as if the relationship was a healthy one.

Every time we stepped into a fight, I stayed as cool as I could. I wish I could say that I was perfectly cool all the time, but after all, I am human. But I noticed myself losing it much less frequently, even though the level of his own anger and negative energy stayed the same. I started walking away when things got unhealthy, and I started to be more content being alone. 

My habits were changing to reflect my mindset and at the time I didn’t even realize that I was manifesting love.

READ MORE: A Woman’s Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries

I accepted a job in the American Southwest but because of the need for a steady income, I moved five weeks before he did – he stayed in Ohio to live with his parents and continue working there.

Once I got here by myself, my happiness exploded. I realized just how happy I was by myself!

He was gentle but confident, quiet but had a great sense of humor. More than anything, I felt safe when I was with him.

But there was something else brewing once I arrived in my new home.

I started developing a friendship with one of my coworkers, a teacher whose classroom was right next to mine. He was gentle but confident, quiet but had a great sense of humor. 

More than anything, I felt safe when I was with him.

When my then-husband arrived 5 weeks after my teaching job started, I was suddenly consumed by all those negative feelings and thoughts once more, reopening those painful wounds. My first husband was not a vibrational match for me any longer. I told him that he was moving back to Ohio, we filed for dissolution, and I never heard from him again.

About a month after the dissolution was settled, my new coworker and I started dating.

Three years later and we got married, and now we have two beautiful sons!

I manifested my soulmate and I'm in a healthy, loving relationship

This was the kind of lasting relationship I had always dreamt of: the RIGHT relationship. This man is my partner, my equal, my best friend. He lifts me up when I’m down, keeps it real when I start to get ahead of myself. He is my ideal partner, both bringing out the best version of the other person. We’re both incredibly supportive of one another. We apologize when we need to, we compromise, and we respect each other.

Just like any other couple, we have our difficult times. We’re human and we get frustrated, but through our entire relationship, we’ve always taken a step back, talked things through, and practiced unconditional love.

Want to learn more about the science of manifestation? Be sure to check out these books by Dr. Joe Dispenza:

Becoming Supernatural, Joe Dispensa
Evolve Your Brain, Joe Dispensa
You Are the Placebo, Joe Dispensa

Already in a relationship? Here are affirmations for healing and strengthening your relationships.

How to Manifest a Better Relationship in 4 Steps

Using my story as an example, let’s break this down.

  1. The first step is to decide it’s time to make a change. You’ve set an intention to use the Law of Attraction to manifest your ideal relationship… your true love.
  2. Next, you need to release your limiting beliefs and old patterns of being in a relationship.
  3. Third, add positive statements and thoughts to your intention to shift your mindset in the right direction.
  4. And the final step is to act in accordance with your new patterns of being.

Then let the Universe work its magic! Let’s look at each one in detail.

1. Decide that You Want to Manifest Love

Happy older couple laughing together

The first step in any endeavor with the Law of Attraction is to set a meaningful intention.

Start narrowing down the kind of partner you want. Our love languages or how we relate to the world (introversion or extroversion, for example) have different vibrations, and it is absolutely essential to find someone who is a vibrational match. Who is a vibrational match for you?

Make sure to be specific without being petty. Tall, dark, and handsome does not have a vibrational quality in the spiritual world, so you may get someone who is blond and short! But if you’re someone who values art, then you may manifest someone who is intentional with their aesthetic qualities!

Not only think about your ideal person you’d like to manifest, but also the ideal relationship you want. What are behaviors that make you feel safe? What behaviors make you feel excited, or nostalgic, or peaceful?

Do you want someone who can weather the storm with you? Do you want someone you can grow old with?

Whatever that perfect relationship looks like, it should be healthy and balanced! Otherwise, when you manifest another unhealthy relationship, don’t be surprised!

You create your own world, including the relationships you’re in. Are you aware of the spiritual vibration you’re sending out into the world?

RELATED: Why I Only Wear a Wedding Band (NO Engagement Ring!)

2. Develop the Right Mindset for Manifesting a Better Relationship

Happy queer couple

The next step to attract love is to align your mindset with that desire.

You do that through positive thoughts, and my favorite manifestation techniques include a vision board and affirmations.

To utilize the power of positive affirmations the right way, you want to make sure they are present tense, powerful, and that you feel them. It’s not just enough to say or write the affirmations. You must feel as if these affirmations are actually true RIGHT NOW!

Here are 40 affirmations you can use to attract love into your life!

A vision board is another great way to generate positive energy around your ideal committed relationship. Print out pictures of couples in love–perhaps they are acting silly and laughing together, or maybe they’re 

These are two fantastic ways to develop that positive mindset that will lead to your ideal romantic love.

Make sure you focus on how the mindset feels for you. Feeling the emotions of a healthy relationship is just as important as thinking about what it looks like.

(It also means that you’re thinking and feeling positive if your relationship is with yourself!)

3. Take Inspired Action

Couple being sensual

Whether you’re in a relationship or self-partnered, take those thoughts and turn them into actions. If you want a relationship that’s supportive and fun, then be supportive to your partner. By yourself? Talk to yourself like you’d like a partner to talk to you.

Be a fun person to spend time with, both for yourself and for your partner.

You’re thinking the thoughts and talking the talk… now you have to walk the walk.

This also might mean putting yourself out there. If you’ve been looking for love and haven’t found it, ask yourself where your ideal partner might go. Do they go to the gym? Do they frequent the library? Coffee shops? Hiking trails?

Make sure you’re actively practicing self-love and giving the Universe the opportunity to bring this desired relationship to you, or else it might never happen!

READ MORE: How “Meet Them Where They Are” Can Help Any Relationship

4. Release All Limiting Beliefs to Manifest Love

This final step is by far the hardest part in the process of manifesting love, but once you’ve mastered it, you’ll know you’re on the right track!

​Past relationships that have failed or been painful may taint your ability to manifest. To quote Ted Lasso, “Be a goldfish.”

You need to be able to work through and release any past experiences that may have your doubting that your dream partner is out there, that they’ll make you happy, or that you’re meant to be together.

Get rid of all the failures, the worries, the anxieties.

But you need to also let go of your expectations.

Manifesting my current relationship worked for me because I knew I would be alright regardless of whether I had a partner or not. And that made all the difference.

When you’re trying to manifest a partner, you HAVE to feel and know that you will be happy regardless of whether you have a healthy, loving relationship. Let go of your need to control. If a relationship is budding, don’t force it!

Background of ocean and beach with text that reads: "Manifesting my current relationship worked for me because I knew I would be alright regardless of whether I had a partner or not. And that made all the difference."

This step CANNOT be skipped!

If you’re actively trying to manifest love, it won’t happen. So make sure you’re focused on the journey and the path, not the end result.

Remember, the universe wants to bring you everything you desire. But don’t get caught up waiting for it to happen. It’s like breathing–it happens all the time!

I’m in a new relationship… now what?

Congratulations! You did it! You manifested a relationship!

Now you keep up the work you’ve been doing. Keep communicating. Keep practicing healthy relationship practices like unconditional love and meeting the other person where they are.

If that person matches your energy and what you want for your life, that’s wonderful! If they don’t, don’t hesitate to gently let them go when you know for sure they are not your ideal partner.

Manifesting Love with a Specific Person

Two people in a healthy romantic relationship dancing on the beach

You’ll notice in my story, I was open to any person who happened to be my dream partner and the universe delivered on that.

But if you have a specific someone else in mind who is in your life with who you’re not already in a relationship, I caution you to attempt manifesting love with this person. There could be a million spiritual reasons why you haven’t already found true love with this specific person.

Especially if this person is someone you had a past relationship with or you know very well, I encourage you to look very closely at whether this person fits with your authentic self!

Here are some questions you can ask yourself about this specific person to see if you are potential partners that could make the kind of healthy, romantic relationship you’re looking for.

  1. Why do you want to be with this person?
  2. What is your ideal partner like?
  3. Are these in alignment?
  4. ​Is this person the kind of partner who will make you happy and will fulfill your desires?
  5. Or is there some special quality of theirs that you idealize?

Follow the steps on this guide and if they are indeed your true love and soulmate, then this should bring them to you. But always keep in mind that you should release expectations and limiting beliefs for best results.

Manifesting Love with Your Current Partner

Also, if you feel that you’re in an unhealthy current relationship but you want to manifest a positive, healthy relationship with your current partner (in other words, you don’t want to break up but just improve your relationship), that is also totally possible! 

But BOTH of you have to make the decision to manifest love: decide, develop the right mindset, act accordingly, and release expectations.

So share this article with your current partner and make conscious decisions, mindsets, and actions about the kind of relationship you desire.


Manifesting a romantic relationship that is healthy and loving is totally possible, and I am proof of it!

But you should know, that like any other practice that you develop, manifesting can take some time. For me, it took a full year after I decided that I wanted a positive, healthy relationship before it manifested in my life.

Manifesting your soulmate is absolutely possible! Just make sure that you match your vibrational energy to what you want and then release any expectations! Enjoy the journey!

Make sure you also check out:
4 Ways to Be a Supportive Partner During a Life Transition
20 Best Affirmation Decks to Help Change Your Mindset

How to manifest a healthy loving relationship. The exact process I used to manifest my soul mate!

How to Manifest A Positive, Healthy Relationship


Monday 27th of January 2020

Love the article. I believe for healthy relationship is based on trust and understanding. Thank you for sharing.


Monday 27th of January 2020

These are wonderful tips on manifesting love. I like the world self partner over single because it buys you in the flow of being partnered up in a relationship soon!


Monday 27th of January 2020

Releasing all expectations. That is a good point. I am glad that you have a happy family.


Monday 27th of January 2020

Very mature writing. I agree with most parts. Thanks for sharing


Sunday 26th of January 2020

Great tips on how to manifest a positive relationship/. It is always about loving oneself first than loving others first. It is hard but so important.

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