Want to know how to manifest a healthy relationship?
This is a post that has been a long time coming and I’m excited to finally share my story with you. Whether you want to know how to manifest love, or how to manifest a better relationship, I’m here to tell you: manifesting a relationship with the law of attraction is absolutely possible, and I’ll share with you exactly how I did it.
How to Manifest Love and a Lasting Relationship
How to manifest a relationship starts with your mindset: you have to open your heart and mind to having a relationship. Using affirmations is a great way to do this. Next, you need to prepare your life and act accordingly. Finally, you need to release any expectations of a relationship and be completely and utterly comfortable with yourself.
I want to point out that if you are someone desperate to find a relationship, please step back and examine why! Being in a healthy, loving relationship is the ultimate goal. Being single and happy is always preferable to being in a toxic relationship!
Are you set on finding the RIGHT relationship, not just ANY?
Then follow this step-by-step, law of attraction guide to help you develop the correct mindset, prepare your life accordingly, and receive a healthy, loving relationship into your life!
But first, a few definitions:
What does “manifest” mean?
“Manifest” is a spiritual term. Manifesting something means that something is clear or evident to your mind’s eye (you can see it and you believe it), and you draw that clear experience into reality with your life energy.
In other words, when you manifest something, a spiritual idea becomes real.
What is the Law of Attraction?
The law of attraction is the belief that “like attracts like,” or to get more of something spiritually, you need to do more of something. It also states that the thoughts and energy you put out will come back to you, similar to karma.
What are Limiting Beliefs?
A limiting belief is any belief that blocks your thoughts and actions. It is a false assumption about oneself or the world that gets in the way of personal development and success. Expectations can be limiting beliefs because you believe that these things are owed to you.
My Story of Manifesting Love with the Right Relationship
When I attracted my life partner, I was already married to someone else.
Eight years ago, I was in grad school in Northeastern Ohio. I was married to my college sweetheart, but things weren’t great.
In fact, I was deeply unhappy. All the markers of a toxic relationship were there: avoidance, drama, negative energy, blame, judgment, pretense, gaslighting, keeping score, and walking on eggshells, to name a few. Looking back, I recognize the emotional, verbal, and yes, even behaviors that could have become physical abuse in the future (like shoving and blocking me from exiting a room) were there.
I wish I could have blamed everything solely on him, but the fact is that I wasn’t raised with the most effective communication regarding emotions either, and I didn’t always recognize when things weren’t right. I had a lot of limiting beliefs. Basically, I thought the abuse I suffered was normal. So I was angry, employed guilt-tripping, and used emotional manipulation too.
But I longed for a healthy relationship – I wanted to be happy with someone! I wanted to celebrate successes, comfort failures, share responsibilities, and be in mutual respect with a person for life. I was tired of the fighting and the drama! I was tired of the push and pull, the blaming, and the name-calling.
Desiring a Change
Two years into that marriage, I decided to make a change. (Remember, at this point, I thought the emotional manipulation and abuse were normal.)
I was going to stop keeping score. I would stop blaming him. I was going to be as open and honest as I could. I was going to stop avoiding confrontation for fear of an explosive fight or condescending remarks. Forgetting what we had endured in the past, I was going to be happy for myself and act as if the relationship was a healthy one.
I released my negativity and began to release my limiting beliefs.
Every time we stepped into a fight, I stayed as cool as I could. I wish I could say that I was perfectly cool all the time, but after all, I am human. But I noticed myself losing it much less frequently, even though the level of his own anger and negative energy stayed the same. I started walking away when things got unhealthy, and I started to be more content being alone.
My habits were changing to reflect my mindset and at the time I didn’t even realize that I was manifesting love.
I realized that I was happy being me, happy being with me.
I accepted a job in the American Southwest but because of the need for a steady income, I moved five weeks before he did – he stayed in Ohio to live with his parents and continue working there.
Once I got here, my happiness exploded. I realized just how happy I was by myself!
But there was something else brewing once I arrived in my new home.
I started developing a friendship with one of my coworkers, a teacher whose classroom was right next to mine. He was gentle but confident, quiet but had a great sense of humor.
More than anything, I felt safe when I was with him.
When my then-husband arrived 5 weeks after my teaching job started, I was suddenly consumed by all those negative feelings and thoughts once more. I knew that divorce was coming, but I struggled to cut the cord. Finally, after some excellent advice from a mentor, I told my ex that he was moving back to Ohio, we filed for dissolution, and I never heard from him again.
About a month after the dissolution was settled, my new coworker and I started dating.
Three years later and we got married, and now we have two beautiful sons!
This man is my partner, my equal. He lifts me up when I’m down, keeps it real when I start to get ahead of myself and keeps me grounded. We’re both incredibly supportive of one another, we work together. We apologize when we need to, we compromise, and we respect each other.
Just like any other couple, we have our difficult times. We’re human and we get frustrated, but through our entire relationship, we’ve always taken a step back, talked things through, and opened our hearts to understanding and love.
Want to learn more about the science of manifestation? Be sure to check out these books by Dr. Joe Dispenza:
Already in a relationship? Here are affirmations for healing and strengthening your relationships.
How to Manifest a Relationship in 4 Steps (Recap)
- I decided I wanted a healthy, loving relationship and to bring love into my life.
- I changed my mindset to believe I had that loving relationship. I released the past of that unhealthy relationship so that I could step forward.
- I acted accordingly, treating my then-husband with respect, patience, calm, and non-avoidance (the same way that I expected to be treated in a successful relationship).
- I became happy with myself and released any expectations of a relationship or of my ex treating me as I wanted to be treated. I was not desperate for a relationship. I was content to know that if I didn’t have that healthy relationship, that I would be happy with myself.
Honestly, it wasn’t until after I had been in my current relationship for several years and began to learn about manifestation and the Law of Attraction that I realized it was exactly what I had done.
1. Decide that You Want to Manifest Love
You’re reading this article, so you’ve already done this part!
Understand that you need to make decisions about what a happy, healthy relationship looks like for you.
As an introvert, I wanted someone who would give me time and space if I needed it. As a music teacher, I needed someone who understood the hours I devoted to my career. I knew that I wanted someone to would walk by my side through life together – I wanted someone who chose to walk next to me in life! I wanted someone who wanted kids and still wanted to travel and do exciting things together!
You may be extroverted and need someone who will go to parties with you. You might want someone who is warm and cuddly and whose love language is touch.
Whatever that perfect relationship looks like, it should be healthy and balanced! Otherwise, when you manifest another unhealthy relationship, don’t be surprised!
You create your own world, including the relationships you’re in. Are you aware of the spiritual vibration you’re sending out into the world?
2. Develop the Right Mindset for Manifesting a Better Relationship
The next step to attract love is to align your desire with your mindset.
My favorite way to adjust my mindset is through the use of affirmations. Here are 42 Affirmations for Attracting Love into your life.
Having a positive, effective mindset means that you’re always thinking of that healthy relationship. But mindset also can mean thinking with your heart-brain.
Make sure you focus on how the affirmations and mindset feel for you. Feeling the emotions of a healthy relationship is just as important as thinking about what it looks like.
It also means that you’re thinking and feeling positive if your relationship is with yourself.
Recently, Emma Watson said that she prefers the term self-partnered to “single”. This is EXACTLY how you should think of it too!
3. Act Your Part of a Healthy Relationship
Whether you’re in a relationship or self-partnered, take those thoughts and turn them into actions. If you want a relationship that’s supportive and fun, then be supportive to your partner. By yourself? Talk to yourself like you’d like a partner to talk to you.
Be a fun person to spend time with, both for yourself and for your partner.
You’re thinking the thoughts and talking the talk… now you have to walk the walk.
4. Release All Expectations to Manifest Love
This is by far the hardest part in the process of manifesting love.
When you’re trying to manifest a partner, you HAVE to feel and know that you will be happy regardless of whether you have a healthy, loving relationship. Let go of your need to control. If a relationship is budding, don’t force it!
Release all expectations and find inner contentedness.
This step CANNOT be skipped!
If you’re actively trying to manifest love, it won’t happen. So make sure you’re focused on the journey and the path, not the end result. Remember, the universe wants to bring you everything you desire. But don’t get caught up waiting for it to happen. It’s like breathing–it happens all the time!
This step CANNOT be skipped!
Manifesting Love with a Specific Person
Also, if you feel that you’re in an unhealthy relationship but you want to manifest a positive, healthy relationship with the person you’re already in a relationship with, that is also totally possible! But BOTH of you have to make the decision to manifest love: decide, develop the right mindset, act accordingly, and release expectations.
If you have specific someone else in mind who is in your life with who you’re not already in a relationship, I caution you to attempt manifesting love with this person. There could be a million spiritual reasons why you haven’t already found true love with this specific person.
Follow the steps on this guide and if they are indeed your true love and soulmate, then this should bring them to you. But always keep in mind that you should release expectations (limiting beliefs) for best results.
Conclusion on How to Manifest a Healthy Relationship
Manifesting a relationship that is healthy and loving is totally possible, and I am proof of it!
But you should know, that like any other practice that you develop, manifesting can take some time. For me, it took a full year after I decided that I wanted a positive, healthy relationship before it manifested in my life.
Manifesting your soulmate is absolutely possible! Just make sure that you match your vibrational energy to what you want and then release any expectations. Life is meant to be enjoyed!
Make sure you also check out:
4 Ways to Be a Supportive Partner During a Life Transition
20 Best Affirmation Decks to Help Change Your Mindset